job security... is it really me?

i dont know what i want in life back then...
when my boyfriend asked me what i want to do in life, what job you like? where do you want to work? i just dont know.. i get so confuse and almost to think that im useless and have no meaning in this life..
like i have no purpose and have no goals when someone aksking about job..
because technically.. i dont want a job.. well..to be honest the idea of working in top company and getting paid to dolar is tempting... but thats not what i want...
well, girls gotta eat and pay bills, internet, electricity.. afterall.. im not living in an imaginary world, where i can pay my bill with simple smile he he he ( sometime i think about that.. i dont know its weird)
soooo.....im working desperately from here and there getting a few dolar here and there..
some of my friends told me to get a job that secure.. for a long time... but i dont want that
 and some even told me to go get some degree so i can get a better job and live like everyone else...
i havent been able to settle for any job, moving here and there.. i dont feel like being an employee... working my ass of and getting peanut...
but ....
i dont know..
yea i know money is important.. but i dont want to spend my life working for it.. thats why i dont want a job... i want to create it and make it work for me.. life is more important than money, and money is important for supporting life..
its difficult to explained.. i dont want a job.... i want something that guarantee even if im sick and cant work i will still get paid... you get what i mean? even if i get high paying job and one day i cant work like very very very sick or something other reasons then i wont get paid.. and i still need to pay those bill and rent
 I know... money is important.. but.. job security is not what im looking for but financialy freeedom is.
i have to admit i have very few jealousy here and there.. some my friend who work in a secure top job able to buy prada bag, gucci bag, channel, fancy car, and many other thing... i know im not going to get rich even if I work my ass of day and night.. thats not the way to get rich..
these past couple days has been an eye opening for me..
Now I know what i want and what I wanted to be .. and I know its guarantee that i will be rich so.. i presented to the bank that idea.. trying to get finance for my project.... however they shut me down.. well not literally...  they said, you need to get more money for the deposit at least $20.000...
so you think i will quit? hey have you met me... im the never give up girl...
you know what i want... job security is  not what im aiming for...so here I am working my ass day and night of trying to get that money to jumpstart my life.... i knew it.. i can feel it in my gut.. that feeling.. yeah.. i kn ow.. i know i can do it..
 and here i come.
what are your strength and weaknesess? what do you want in life? do you want to work? become self employed? or just being happy become employee? what do you want in life..
I know what i want.. what do you want in life... can you please tell me..